Good Things Come to Those Who Ask
I’ve never been someone who likes to ask for things. I don’t know why, I feel like it’s embarrassing to put someone out? I don’t even like asking Burger King to hold the pickles. It just feels uncomfortable, or rude. Obviously, this isn’t truth. It’s not personal. The guy on the drive-thru mic isn’t even the one making my burger – no one’s offended. My point of view started to shift when I went to a letter-writing training for a fundraiser through Both Hands. The training explained that the question is not rude or personal. When someone receives a question, they respond with a yes or a no, or they throw it away and forget about it. They don’t sit around thinking about how they feel about the question.
This mind-shift continued after having a child with special needs. It’s in his best interest to ask for things all the time. It’s no longer just about me. With kids in general, especially ones who are often sick, you have to push for answers. You find yourself becoming that “pushy mom” because you are your kids’ best advocate!
So, I’ve been working on swallowing my pride and just asking. In fact, it’s becoming my new life motto to “just ask.” It turns out most people are mostly kind and want to help. No one’s been offended by my asking, and it’s made a real difference in so many things. Starting small, let me give some examples…
Need to find the peanut butter in the grocery store? Just ask!
Need someone to carry your things to the car because your arms are full of kids? Just ask!
Need your kid to keep his shoes on in the bounce house because they protect his leg braces? Just ask!
Need to drop-off your kid in the potty-trained only play zone when he’s in diapers because of bowel and bladder issues? Just ask!
Need a specially-crafted meal at a mega organized event because of food allergies? Just ask!
Need something from your kid’s doctor that insurance won’t cover? Just ask!
Need someone to take your kid to T-ball so that you can meet another kid’s medical needs? Just ask!
Need your kid to sit up front because he can’t focus in the back? Just ask!
Want a best-offer price on a hotel room when you’re checking in without a reservation? Just ask!
Want a free upgrade to your hotel room? Just ask!
Need to skip the line because your kid can’t stand that long? Just ask!
Need to reschedule an important meeting because it doesn’t fit with your kid’s schedule? Just ask!
Want to take your kid somewhere that looks inaccessible? Just ask!
Need a ride because your arms are about to fall off from carrying children who can’t walk any farther? Just ask!
Need to get five people into the museum on a press pass that only lists two? Just ask!
Need help paying that insanely huge medical bill? Just ask!
Need a car while yours has a lengthy stay at the shop? Just ask!
Need a place to stay because you’re traveling for a cause? Just ask!
Need a sponsor to help you get your business or non-profit off the ground? Just ask!
Need more money in your budget for that task you’re being asked to complete at work? Just ask!
Some of this is knowing the right person to ask, and some of this is having an actual need. I can recall very few legitimate requests that have been turned down… and most of those times I just needed to ask someone else!
If you’re like me and you struggle with the idea of asking for things, just remind yourself: people like to help others – it makes them feel good about themselves. Don’t deny them that opportunity. Accepting help doesn’t make you a charity case or a cause: it makes you human. The world needs more humans.
If this is too big of a starting place, break it down into steps.
- Name one thing that would genuinely benefit your family.
- Name two people that have the ability to help you get it.
- Make contact. In person is best, phone is second best, and email can suffice as third best.
Get over yourself and ask for big things!
If you need help getting started, don’t hesitate to ask (nicely). I’m becoming the queen of asking, and I’m happy to help!
